lately ive been so sparatic.
so, lost may be the word.
and im quite ready to go back to school.
my brain is dying to be challenged.
to deal with new people.
to make myself social again.
to love-
not nessisarily in a romantic way
[althought that would be pleasant]
but in another way.
love friends, also learning.
scriptures, also small things unappriciated.

im almost eager to miss my family.
i long for a reason to get out of my comfort zone.
right now im so in it-

living in utah has made me so much more confident.
i realize who i am and who i want to be.
but im ready to step back into the place that i once felt awkward...
with my newfound self.
[hoorah...]

just a normal day at work

"My mom's married to a girl. I hate it"

"Your nose is really red. like you have a cold or something."

today i went to work a day early.

just fyi:
i wish i could be a doctor.
i am sooo excited for summer.
i still hate sports.
inside jokes are not as funny as people think they are.

blogs are not journals.

blogs are ideal in your head. computers are so in. no one writes anymore. heck. if you wrote out an essay your teacher would just raise his eyebrow at you. so.... blog! you can type out your feelings and the internet keeps it all organized for you. you can find out odd things. Howser would be so jealous. So its like a journal right? except, unlike a journal, i cant let it slip that i have secret crushes on my friends, or discuss my terrible co worker. i cant really express my insecurities without looking like i need validation. so, blog, thanks a lot for denying me of my childhood journal entries. all they ever consisted of were: im grounded today, life sucks. and-- i have a crush on chris, but jeremy bugs me. now i can just type out lame jokes that i heard that day or recent improvements in my life.
just to be a rebel: i have a secret crush on my friend, my coworkers treat me like im 16, and my stomach hurts. so there.

im going to sleep now.

the past few days i have stayed up till 2 or 3 in the morning to finish the first 3 seasons of doogie howser. the show. no one knows what it is when i mention it. so you can figure im telling you this for many reasons. hey, your life is not as pathetic as mine. you dont waste sleep watching an early 90s television show. or...to make you jealous. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. and now i have to finish the last season of this...adventure? im not even much of a t.v. person. which makes me laugh. some people are obsessed with television shows. personally, about once or twice a year i find some series and decide to spend a week staying up all night to finish. then im done for 6 or 8 months till i need a new "time killer." mostly this blog was to make myself feel better for my current nerdy actions. [as i sing the theme song in my head]

just dont do it. dont. please. stop. ok?

i decided im going to start telling the world things they ought to know.
[not that these are at all based on current personal experiences... .. .]
number one.
airheads give you bad breath.
im sure you didnt notice as a kid. you loved those rediculously sugary candy. i love the white ones. i mean, they are freakin' Mystery flavored!! Anyway. little did you know, they make your mouth smell wretched. and not like ew i have a bad taste in my mouth only i can taste and im slightly paranoid. smell like, you and your sister ate them during a basketball game and your mom wont talk to you untill you chew mints to make the smell dissapear. and 6 mints later you still reek. not that it is from personal experience.
numero dos.
dont get tricked by your siblings into doing their homework. i know that you are really smart and know everything just like i do, but there is no reason why you should do most of your sister's research and essay outline for her.
but i felt so smart.....
THREEE!
oooo. i think ill read slumdog millionaire. the movie won a million acadamy awards [get it, million?? hhahaa, ok i dont think you can even consider that a joke.] anyway. everyone assured me they didnt know why the movie was rated 'restricted', maybe some swear words or something added in the movie for more effect, and some poverty shown- maybe a scene of violence. uh.....excuse me? the book was something alright. if you think its cool to read about men molesting boys and stuff like that [ i dont even feel appropriate typing that.] oh, but it was happy when he fell in love with the prostitute.....



not that there was any sarcasm in me when i wrote this, forgive meee, its 1:30 AM.

p.s.

will someone please tell me what to do with my life

im not mad or anything...

im just really sick of how people are so inconsiderate.

thats all.

Bill-oney

What if...
You had a husband named Bill.
You had dollar Bills.
You payed Bills.
You were a politician and you signed Bills.
Your favorite football team was the Buffalo Bills.
You had a duck with a Bill.
You lived in a city in Montana called Bill[ings.]

Your whole life would be Bills.

bob dylan

as it turns out, a lot more people read my blog than i thought. so i should be careful of what i say from now on. haha. i often read letters to crushes. its nice because its [romantic] on my level. humorous and real. its just entertaining.

and i am just rambling. i have a lot and a little on my mind.
oh, and i like bob dylan.