no, i will not eat your creepy version of protein.

After a long time of being insistent about my peculiar picky consumption of meat, I have given in.

My requirements were these:

I do not eat pork. Ill try any excuse. I am a jew. I AM A JEWWWW!!! [ok.not really a jew...]

I do. not eat. roast. beef.

or steak.

OR lamb. or any animal not meant to be eaten. such as; deer.

Here is where I lowered my standards

i still don’t eat pork. However today I was too lazy to open up a new package of lunch meat. So I choked down some ham. This is how bad my laziness has become? I am never eating pig meat again. Stop trying to trick me. I will bend my rules. Because im lazy. Like how ive been eating corndogs…. We wont even get into that. There is so so so many excuses. Hot dogs are gross.

b. i was really really hungry last week. Practically starving. Mom. Please stop making roast beef multiple times a month, let along multiple times a WEEK. But my poor stomach was much too weak to cook anything else. Even if it was just in the microwave. I was starving, remember?

Steak is only to be consumed in a situation such as the last nooooo moooreeee exxceeptionns.

d. Which leads to lamb. which will NEVER be excused. Who do you think I am. Im not going to eat an animal that is on the cover of a lisa frank folder. I learned better than that in elementary school, come on!

On the other hand, Glenn Beck is creepy.

shaved legs

when im in the shower, i think of my best ideas. so i want someone to invent me a waterproof tape recorder so i can record my ideas and then write them down when i get out. if i try to wait till i get out of the shower i dont sound as good.

shower = me really insightful, eloquent, and interesting.

thats all.

a blog in which i say "boyfriend" too many times.

Today was a pretty good day.

i woke up.

i ate some cereal.

chatted online with my superhotttt boyfriend.

ran some errands with my mom.

picked out early birthday presents.

came home.

and then rode bikes with said boyfriend and his friend Dallin.

Dallin is a precious boy.

then i ate a lot, la lala,

oh. and wrecked kyle.s hair.

despite the fact that i, just last month, gave kyle william challis the most awesome haircut of his young adult life.... i ruined his hair. i lost confidence and then we just buzzed it all off. poor hair. iloved that hair. it was so blonde and wavy and covered his forehead in such a pleasant way. how could i ruin his hair? I am so intensely displeased with myself words can not discribe it. part of me died a little. i let kyle down. i let myself down. now he has to face his mom. his dad. six siblings. a sister in law. a brother in law. 3 nieces. all his nerd friends. good thing he works from home. now he will never have to show his boss. my poor buzz head boyfriend. i kept saying "im so sorry. dont hate me!" over and over. probably one thousand times in an hour. i called him on the phone. i texted it. i facebooked it. i bloggeed about it. Its just hair, christene. you will live. he will live. yeah... im not convincing myself too well. also, he is not convincing me. by the way- i have the nicest most sincere boyfriend with the biggest heart you will ever meet. besides being a total babe- he still loves me when i totally butcher his hair and whine about it all night. Then i started feeling bad like he would think he was unattractive with no hair. then i whined some more about how he was soooo cute and i still liked him. more dont hate me whines. im so secure when i make mistakes. and he just kissed me --jk i have never kissed a boy!! -- no, he hugged me and said he liked it better that way.

and that, everyone else, is how i somehow am dating the coolest boy in the universe. no- that is only a small microscopic example. and even though i keep losing all hope in everything i remember that good things really do happen to good people.

oh and then i attempted to sleep. because i get to take my cousin to the airport at 7 am.....

zac efron probably has a crush on me.

i cant swallow very well even after day four of antibiotics- which is probably a bad sign. other than the fact that i have been sick for 2 weeks now and my work hours got cut down [not because of my lack of good work but because not enough kids signed up for camp, OK! haha]- which seemed impossible- i have sewed a dress and managed to squirm my way out of cleaning my room, doing anything responsible, and sleeping wayyy less than a sick person should. that, my friend, is summer break. and you would think that the summer i turned 22 should be more responsible, but.... lets wait until my birthday [july 14, ahemmm] and THEN ill whip out the responsibility and be a real grown up. because then ill be a menace to society [jk.] until then... who wants to play!! hahaha [the sick part is really discouraging. but ill get better, promise!]

10 ways to make life better

1. ice cream bars.

2. elton john: tiny dancer. repeat. repeat.

3. make more money than you expected.

4. have a good hair day.

5. watch this video: http://www.hulu.com/watch/73360/saturday-night-live-lawrence-welk .

6. learn to crochet.

7. successfully foil a sneaky plan.

8. steam rooooom. thanks glenn.

9. drop out of school. [ok a little sarcasm.]

10. meet kyle challis.

ALL IN CAPS BECAUSE IM YELLING, DUH.

OHHAITHURRRRRR

100TH POST!!!!!! THIS IS QUITE THE EVENT.

AND THERE WILL BE NOTHING MEMORABLE ABOUT THIS.

EXCEPT, TUMBLR OWNS MY LYFE

[ WWW.CHRISTENELOVESINTERNETS.TUMBLR.COM ]

AND I LOVE PUNS TODAY SO LEAVE ME A GOOD PUN JOKE IN A COMMENT.

PLZ.

THX.

BAI.

a blog in which i name drop. A LOT.

i am going to tell you all my crushes for as long as i remember. because right now that sounds really funny.

maybe not funny not a 3:30 am

[p.s. i have had more crushes than this, but these are the ones that were the most memorable ]

Christoper. K-3rd grade.

Alex. 4th grade- 21 years old. early 21, mind you.

Curtis, Paul, and every other boy in 6th grade

James. in 7th grade wanted to go out with me but i said no. what was i thinking?!!? i liked him...

Jesse. he was so dreamy. i wouldnt wear a sweatshirt to school because i knew he would always let me wear his.

Josh was a senior and let me wear his lettermans jacket. he was on the water polo team.

Jordan, was in middle school and i was in high school. [well i would have been in middle school if i lived in utahhhs...]

John was my first wild boy crush and my first huge heartbreak. damn you, john bell.

Logan was the first boy i ever held hands with.

Spencer, bless your heart if you read this, i was in love with you. you were so asian.

Stephen will forever be the boy of my dreams and i owe a lot of the way i think to him. he probably has no clue about this. that is embarrassing. he was also exceptionally handsome.

Mystery Facebook boy, i know your name but i refuse to admit it. I talked to you at the library one time. You were my first hipster crush.

Daren- and then we got engaged years later, then you married a girl ] very soon after i dumped you. someone wanted to get married.

Cody was black and i liked him. we met at a byu dance. i did not just admit that.

i really cant remember any names of crushes from mid 2007 to mid 2008....

Kenton had earrings and tattoos.

Brennan was and forever will be probably the biggest joke of my dating life.

Matt let me kiss him at his california mansion, but not really because i have never kissed a boy before.

and now we are to april 2010. and i have a crush on evvverryyy boyyyyy

i hope i did not forget you.

i cant believe i just said all that.

and then here is my celebrity crush because everyone knows how much i want to date the not celebrity version of michael cera.