*%$^&#@!#%^

last night i puked from anxiety.


make it go away.

ive always hated october.

More than likely right now im feeling more emotions at once than is healthy for a single person. single meaning... one person? or single meaning if i was in a relationship it would be healthy? damned if i knew. hahaha. im torn between being the sweetheart that i am so well known to be and the b*****, that is not the b word, btw, that i possibly should be? possible, that i should not be? ugh. here is the deal. i dont handle people well. i just want to give them what they want. im either really nice or really mean. and i find it painfully hard to find a medium i think. also, im currently feeling ill because of the way i feel. ugh, curse, this blog has to end now. i cant write more or i will turn rediculous.

my hair is blonder, maybe my brain is too.

i am in love with reading blogs. nothing makes my day more complete than opening up my blog page and seeing that someone has typed out some long story or shpeel [correct spelling or not, it looks grosser and cooler this way. or, more gross and cool.] of feelings. ok, maybe things have completed me more than that, but right now at this very second i think not.

also, i learned yesterday via brennan that i am not as intellegent as i thought i was. as i was correcting his paper i was marking the heck out of it. he then turned and showed me in his english whatever book that he was right, and i was not. im pretty sure at Byuiiiii that they taught me otherwise. so i feel pretty fooled right now.

last, congradulate me on successfully being in a 3 month relationship. lets not jinx it though, there are still hours in the day. hahhhh

p.s. matthew, i have not even started malcolm x yet, and i probably have a test on it this coming week. im good at things.

btw,

i keep attempting to write a blog about how im slowly turning into this mushy sucker.
but no matter how i write it, im either emberassed, or, probably emberassed.
mostly im just emberassed.hh

maybe in the future i can make a better attempt, or stop writing blogs about things i am not going to blog about. because it is often.

summary? mushhhh

i promise im not trying to be vulgar. too much.

the thing about blogging is you have to be very careful what you write.
i never know who is secretly blogstalking me.
I could write something about this annoying acquaintance who gives me the biggest pain in the butt, but since we are facebook friends, i take a risk of being b.s.-ed [blogstalked.]
i make fun of my grandma- b.s.-ed.
i talk about my huge crush on a boy. b.s.-ed.
i complain about my best friend. b.s.-ed.
you get the point.
its all b.s.
and i love it anyway.

the case of the moving girl

oh dang it, im moving.
oh wait, i already did, suckkkkaaa.

next step, moving to murray.
hah, if i could even get any money.
i need a second job, maybe even a third one.

things im aspiring to accomplish:
being better at thinking of funny romantic things to say.
developing patience.
being better at homework.
fixing this stomach problem.
obtaining a large amount of money.

please keep me in check on this. any assistance will be accepted.


on the other hand, these are the things i want to brag about:
my hair.
the fact that i got an excellent job.
my survival to the age of 21.


yaaaaaboyyyyyy.

unless you are alanis morisette, please pronounce 'figures' the correct way.

how did i get so bad at blogging? sometimes i think im beginning to lost all my creativity and spunk. but then i rememeber its just summer and im too lazy. H, its summer, so i should have so much to blog about. bblllooooggggggg. well maybe once i get out of my gay math class, i will have the energy to be clever again.
maybe its because all i can think of is mushy things or possibly just nonsense i am too embarrassed to share with anyone.


and i do not want to embarass myself. [lolzz]

ok, ok, i get it. my lack of a life is producing little to nothing to blog about. it is concluded.
shush.