i must be sure from the very start

I hate how lazy i feel right now. Its truely gross, because i honestly have so much to do. . that is my opening thought. ok, now on to something new. I have a problem with buying random songs on itunes that I will probably never listen to again. It snowed today again, its march 13, and its snowing. that is sick, probably. Like 5 inches. Where did the sun go? Did it take an extended vavation? Did the gopher not see its shadow or something? remember when you would watch the groundhog on feb 2nd and it was so enthralling? i did/ i think. My sister is currently playing me, over the phone, a little asian girl singing hey jude. hah. which leads me into so many new thoughts. oh beatles. Oh sister. American Idol? Work? my co-worker scott who is halerious, he loves american idol, and on tuesday they all sang beatles songs. see, there is organization to my thoughts usually. except now, when I probably make no sense even to myself. less than a month left of school. If anyone even came close to knowing a part of how excited i am. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited.. really. ok thats enough ranbling for today, untill my nesxt pointless attempt at blogging....

happy daylight savings

If I had half the headache I had right now I would be more in the mood to blog. neverthelesssss, i have an urge to write down at this moment the blah blah blahs running through my head.

1. I am no eloquent blogger. Its almost like, if you are going to have a blog you have to be eloqent. like this extremely nice flow of words that sound like you are so poetic or something.

2. Im so sick of school its sick. wow, my word choiceis beyond amazing right now.

3. Did i mention im sick of school? I hate it here in rexburg, please get me out of here. i my computer, who hates me, is really hating me right now.

4. ok, so im really not that into writing a new blog right now as i thought i would be when i opened up my blog. ohhh weelllllll.

many thoughts may run through my head at one time.

thought 1.
oh how i love blogs.
i keep my blog relatively on the down low.
so i can express my feelings without hurting peoples feelings.
sometimes i wanna swear. alot.
but it still doesnt seem right to....
my roommates LOVEEEEE to argue.
they ALLLLWAYYSSS have to have the last word, be right.
ive been so so good at letting them say whatever they want and shrugging it off, but im running looowwwww on patience. patience haas never been something ive ran high on. ive been trying sooooooo hard. ugh.

thought 2.
i really really wish i didnt care so much about material things.
i wish i could love everyone.
not care so much about clothes, and things like that, like judging people based on their interests.
i think ive been doing alot better.

thought 3.
im ready for my life to hit a new stage. for reaaaaaaaallllll

thought 4.
i wishhhhh that my thoughts could be written out sometimes, my best idea/thought flow comes when im laying down in bed and have no desire to get up and write/type what im thinking.

ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaaa

hello.
this note all began because of a fill out. a fillout i had every intention of completeing, hah, but instead my mind wandered and i had to do this instead.
so in this fillout it said, name 4 people that made you laugh today. So i recall the days events. alison made me laugh, work kids made me laugh- mostly scott, who we decided it would be funny to yell out his name for 3 hours so he would walk over to us and then we would tell him something rediculous. oooh im so funny..... [uh.....] anywayyy, the majority of my laugh attacks today were from 7:30 to 9:30 pm, where i attended the vienna boys choir. oh how i love fa 100.... so there was this couple awkwardly sitting, and they were funny. then the guy cought me laughing at him, which made me laugh insanely, in the middle of a song, and i could not stop. thennnn we moved spots, and sat by quite the charecter. thats all i can say, there are no words to describe. ok, let me restate that. there is no way to describe the awkwardness found at byui. and i probably contribute to it.
and then theres my life. sometimes i laugh because, like im sure a large amount of people do, think, and realize, um....i live in rexburg. and i go to college in the middle of nowhere.
oh, but the things that happen, and the unique type of entertainment i get out of it.
will i miss it here? uh.....
im sure i can fine people like that everywhere, but im really not sure.
ohhhhh rexburg, oh idaho, oh byu [i]
also, dont overcook 20 year old plastic plates so they melt and explode.they willl stiiiiink, like fish.
i need more cheerios.
happy valentines day.

when full of unknown feelings i most definatly have the most to say.

today is definatly an appropriate day to blog.
some days are just filled with emotion.
an emotional breakdown did occur today.
i feel a lot better now.
todays events include a new job, school, and dramaaaaaa.
sometimes i wonder about people.
have you ever wondered what someone else was thinking?
i do, alot. not that im wondering what they think about me, more like...
i wonder what other people think about. hah, i wonder if people's heads race like mine does.
i love that im learning meditation.
meditation has taught me, with the little that i have done, to relax.
although i have been very stressed out these past weeks, i have also been developing skills to be able to calm myself.
ive been learning alot about myself lately.
i think right now i really need that. i want to know who i am.
other than self discovery, i really desire to know what to do next in my life.
whether to go home, move somewhere else, or possibly, to stay here.....
which is not my first thought or most delightful thought.
im not really sure what else im thinking.
i feel older than i really am.
but at the same time i wish i had more maturity in some areas.
thats where i end this, i think, with my head still spinning in circles, but my heart is calmer and even though im full of confusion, at the end of this day im way more relaxed than i would have ever expected i would be 2 hours ago.

heres to two thousand and, uh, great?

if i had to explain my break, id give you these nine songs.
*sea of love- cat power
[one of the prettiest songs ive ever heard]
*i wish i was the moon tonight- neko case
[please, you would too if you heard this song]
*under the blacklight- rilo kiley
[my choice if jenny lewis for the break]
*lake michigan- rogue wave
[rogue wave=real good.]
*16 military wives- the decemberists
[i like it. i also watched the music video over break and fell in love]
*lack of color- death cab
[i amit, watching the OC recently made me like this song again. remember when seth wrote a chrismakuh song to lack of color? it made you wanna go listen to it for real.]
*monarch- feist
[i fall in love or re-fall in love with a new feist song like every month]
*anyone else but you- michael cera and ellen page
[i fell in love with michael cera, and the film juno]
*gold lion- yeah yeah yeahs
[made my airplane ride more tolerable]

i dont see what anyone can see in anyone else

christmas break, woooo!
quite possible the highlight of my week has been seeing Juno and watching almost all 3 seasons of arrested development, michael cera has me smitten. ok, i have somewhat of a life, ok.
but before i stray from that idea, im going to promote the soundtrack to Juno, cuz its pretty good. i have not bought it..... hah, but i itunes sample it, and listen to it via myspace, cuz im a big nerd like that. ok on to the next thing,
which is the fact that i miss california, the 60 degree winters, the beach, balboa island, disneyland, the malls there, etc. i do not miss "home," just my dear california, who, yes, i had a bitter feeling toward for a while, but now i, suprisingly, long to visit. what a long sentence. it was just all one thought.
i noticed today that i often swallow my gum without noticing.
im still horrible at mario cart.